Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Mental Breakdown.

I think that with the way my mind it set up, I am doomed to ahve a mental breakdown. It's completely inevitable, with all of the stress I put on my life and myself. So I think that if I have a mental breakdown now, one that I have an ounce of control over and wouldn't affect a job, or internship, or schoolwork, or many other people, it would be for the best. I don't know whats going to happen in the future. So maybe I should just drive myself to the brink of insanit now while I have the chance. Get it out of the way.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Wednesday, January 21, 2009, around 8:45 p.m.

My fellow citizens:
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often, the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebearers, and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America: They will be met.
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the fainthearted -- for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things -- some celebrated, but more often men and women obscure in their labor -- who have carried us up the long, rugged path toward prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.
Time and again, these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions -- that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act -- not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions -- who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them -- that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works -- whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account -- to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day -- because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control -- and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart -- not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: Know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort -- even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West: Know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment -- a moment that will define a generation -- it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.
Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends -- hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism -- these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility -- a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world; duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.
This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence -- the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed -- why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.
So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive... that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."
America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested, we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back, nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

This is President Obama's inaguration speech. I see hope in it. It was exempt from his promises of tax cuts and hiring more teachers, and I think that when we remove these highly unlikely promises, we are able to have some faith in him. I support him, and I have faith also in God and all of the christians in our country that are hopefully praying for this man.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Monday, December 8, 2008, around 9:15 p.m.

So I am suddenly angry. I would like everyone to know that I love my life. As much as I complain, as much as I hate people, as much as I want to be on a beach and be able to not go to school until nine, at the earliest, I really love my life. I have been blessed with so much. Great friends, esepecially Luke and Makayla and Elizabeth. I have a home, even if it is currently giving me hypothermia. I have many great abilities, a family who has provided unbelievable amounts of support for me voer the years, and parents who care. I am trusted, and loved, and provided for. I have a savior, and I have the oppourtunities to get to know Him better, even hough I don't take them. I have more than enough. I just hate it when these "emo" people think that their lives are terrible, just because their parents try to know what's going on in their lives and want them to do well in life. I also hate when teenagers, girls in particular, would give their favorite puppy dogs up just to go live in Forks or something. I hate it when you purposely sabatoge the relationships around you just because you hate where you live. I just hate it. Ugh, I think I hate the human race in general. Even though I shouldn't. Fine, I love them, I just don't like them. At all. Grrrrrr.

Monday, December 1, 2008

I'm restless. I want to get out. I start to feel like this around this time every year, but it's getting more intense as I feel older. I'm getting into a schedule, getting used to everything, nothing exciting is really happening. And folks, I know you are thinking "What about Christmas?" Well, here's the deal. Christmas isn't that great for me. I don't know why, it just isn't. So here's the list of things I want, with comments inserted into it.
  • a pony (just for the novelty of having a pony)
  • a boyfriend (even though I'm too young and I completely disapprove of people dating at our age. for the most part, at least)
  • an iPod. apparently my mp3 player isn't doing the job anymore
  • a job
  • better legs
  • infinite wisdom on the subject of people
  • freedom from having to do the right thing (no matter how much I want this... I'll never let it happen)
  • a beach
  • a kiss in the rain (stop rolling your eyes Makayla)

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Sunday, November 2, 2008, around 4:35 p.m.

I ahve had a lot on my mind altely. So much that I don't even know what to say. Some of it I can't even post online, just in case someone saw it. How's this, I'm an Obama supporter. I can say that. Mainly because I'm pretty sure none of my family members read this, so I'm safe. You see, mot of them want McCain. Actually, more like all of them. I don't know any other Obama supporters inside my family. I just think that he has vision.. something that McCain doesn't have. I don't particularily like either, just to throw that out there. Obama is just better. I guess we'll see on Tuesday the final verdict. But seriously people.. no matter who it is, All Authority is Put Into Place by God. Okay.. what else.. I'm pretty much in love with Mafia Wars on Facebook. It's so fun! My biology teacher is stupid. I'm not even kidding. He's like a huge kid, with about the mental capacity of a five year old. On my test, he marked me off on something that was totally correct. I even found it in the book. And the other day in the lab, he told the class to "SHUT UP". As a teacher, you do not say that. How are you going to show respect and set an example and earn respect from a class if you're telling them to shut up? You can't. Then he pulled a tube out of boiling water and across a student's arm to put it into the test tube rack. I'm like, "what the heck? That's dangerous!" I was not a happy camper. This guy isn't even our teacher, just a substitue for Mrs. Carr who is on maternity leave. Maybe I'm just bitter because I have a B+ in that class. Oh well.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Thursday, September 11, 2008 around 4:45 p.m.

First of all, happy birthday Peach Face. Second, congratulations to those who made it onto quiz bowl with me. Third, I have been thinking. Here are my thoughts.
Every friendship is different. But that is mostly because people are different. Let me describe some of the relationships around me.
Today, two of my friends got into a fight. They do this often. But as usual, by the end of the day, we could all tell they would be fine.
I have another friend who puts people around him who can make him laugh. He doesn't seem to make too many ties with many of these people, they're just around to have fun and for him to have fun.
I have another friend who annoys the heck out of people. But they put up with this person because they love him. Its odd. But amazing.
There's someone who has lots of friends, but none seem to be her BEST friend. Is it possible one doesn't need a best friend?
That bring me to an interesting thought, why do we have best friends? What do we charachterize as a best friend?
I think of someone to share my secrets with, to go to when I'm upset, but to have lots of fun with when I'm happy. Right now, that's Elizabeth. Also Makayala has been there for me a lot lately.
With Luke, lately we just seem to be having fun. When its conveinient. I'm used to wanting to be around him a lot. I'm not exactly sure why. But it seems like, as I strengthen my relationships with other people I need him less. I'll always be friends with him, I think, but I can stand to not talk to him for a while. He even annoys me a bit sometimes. Which is healthy, I believe. He's still the most fun person around me though. That's for sure. Even thought Zeeba is running a close second.
Smedley, as I call him to differentiate him from my other friend with the same first name, and I don't hang out that much. Or talk that much besides the random comment on a myspace page. But he and I have a connection. I'm always happy when I see him. He's just one of those people I adore for no apparent reason.
Makayla I never planned on letting into my life as much as I have. But she just keeps getting sucked into my personal bubble. I think not having any classes with her this year actually helps.
Zeeba, Elizabeth, Kathy, whatever. She's amazing. I love her. Best friends forever.
So now that you know a bit about my friendships, let me explain something else. If you care about a friendship, you have to be careful. You have to keep your mind in a place where it doesn't insult that friend. You never know what you may say out loud. You must get to know that person, observe how they react to their enviroment and learn how to work with that. This is the greatest advice I can give you. It will make a friendship last. Learn how to make them happy, learn what makes them tick. Learn their flaws, and work around them. Get to know their inner personality. Draw conclusions based on fact. You get to be a better friend this way.

I had a purpose for this blog, I know I did, but I don't think I fullfilled it.

My point at this point (teehee) is that friendshps are fragile. You have to learn and mold to yours. Select people who compliment you, and never forget that people can infer things about you based on the company you keep.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Democratic National Convention

Last night, while I was asleep, the Democratic National Convention met and debated and discussed. Hilary released her deleagtes and turned her support over to Obama. I must say, out of the three (Hilary, Obama, and McCain) I was a Clinton supporter, even if she does believe in abortion and gay marriage, youjust have to believe that God will come through and out obstacles in the way of those things. Anyway, I am a bit dissapointed, I thought she would be more stubborn than that. I have a suspicion that Obama may have a supernatrual power over her, but I also believe that Hilary is not stupid. This is not the last of Hilary Rodham Clinton, she will be back. And I think.. That just may be a good thing.