Monday, December 8, 2008, around 9:15 p.m.

So I am suddenly angry. I would like everyone to know that I love my life. As much as I complain, as much as I hate people, as much as I want to be on a beach and be able to not go to school until nine, at the earliest, I really love my life. I have been blessed with so much. Great friends, esepecially Luke and Makayla and Elizabeth. I have a home, even if it is currently giving me hypothermia. I have many great abilities, a family who has provided unbelievable amounts of support for me voer the years, and parents who care. I am trusted, and loved, and provided for. I have a savior, and I have the oppourtunities to get to know Him better, even hough I don't take them. I have more than enough. I just hate it when these "emo" people think that their lives are terrible, just because their parents try to know what's going on in their lives and want them to do well in life. I also hate when teenagers, girls in particular, would give their favorite puppy dogs up just to go live in Forks or something. I hate it when you purposely sabatoge the relationships around you just because you hate where you live. I just hate it. Ugh, I think I hate the human race in general. Even though I shouldn't. Fine, I love them, I just don't like them. At all. Grrrrrr.

I'm restless. I want to get out. I start to feel like this around this time every year, but it's getting more intense as I feel older. I'm getting into a schedule, getting used to everything, nothing exciting is really happening. And folks, I know you are thinking "What about Christmas?" Well, here's the deal. Christmas isn't that great for me. I don't know why, it just isn't. So here's the list of things I want, with comments inserted into it.

• a pony (just for the novelty of having a pony)
• a boyfriend (even though I'm too young and I completely disapprove of people dating at our age. for the most part, at least)
• an iPod. apparently my mp3 player isn't doing the job anymore
• a job
• better legs
• infinite wisdom on the subject of people
• freedom from having to do the right thing (no matter how much I want this... I'll never let it happen)
• a beach
• a kiss in the rain (stop rolling your eyes Makayla)