Monday, December 8, 2008

Monday, December 8, 2008, around 9:15 p.m.

So I am suddenly angry. I would like everyone to know that I love my life. As much as I complain, as much as I hate people, as much as I want to be on a beach and be able to not go to school until nine, at the earliest, I really love my life. I have been blessed with so much. Great friends, esepecially Luke and Makayla and Elizabeth. I have a home, even if it is currently giving me hypothermia. I have many great abilities, a family who has provided unbelievable amounts of support for me voer the years, and parents who care. I am trusted, and loved, and provided for. I have a savior, and I have the oppourtunities to get to know Him better, even hough I don't take them. I have more than enough. I just hate it when these "emo" people think that their lives are terrible, just because their parents try to know what's going on in their lives and want them to do well in life. I also hate when teenagers, girls in particular, would give their favorite puppy dogs up just to go live in Forks or something. I hate it when you purposely sabatoge the relationships around you just because you hate where you live. I just hate it. Ugh, I think I hate the human race in general. Even though I shouldn't. Fine, I love them, I just don't like them. At all. Grrrrrr.

Monday, December 1, 2008

I'm restless. I want to get out. I start to feel like this around this time every year, but it's getting more intense as I feel older. I'm getting into a schedule, getting used to everything, nothing exciting is really happening. And folks, I know you are thinking "What about Christmas?" Well, here's the deal. Christmas isn't that great for me. I don't know why, it just isn't. So here's the list of things I want, with comments inserted into it.
  • a pony (just for the novelty of having a pony)
  • a boyfriend (even though I'm too young and I completely disapprove of people dating at our age. for the most part, at least)
  • an iPod. apparently my mp3 player isn't doing the job anymore
  • a job
  • better legs
  • infinite wisdom on the subject of people
  • freedom from having to do the right thing (no matter how much I want this... I'll never let it happen)
  • a beach
  • a kiss in the rain (stop rolling your eyes Makayla)

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Sunday, November 2, 2008, around 4:35 p.m.

I ahve had a lot on my mind altely. So much that I don't even know what to say. Some of it I can't even post online, just in case someone saw it. How's this, I'm an Obama supporter. I can say that. Mainly because I'm pretty sure none of my family members read this, so I'm safe. You see, mot of them want McCain. Actually, more like all of them. I don't know any other Obama supporters inside my family. I just think that he has vision.. something that McCain doesn't have. I don't particularily like either, just to throw that out there. Obama is just better. I guess we'll see on Tuesday the final verdict. But seriously people.. no matter who it is, All Authority is Put Into Place by God. Okay.. what else.. I'm pretty much in love with Mafia Wars on Facebook. It's so fun! My biology teacher is stupid. I'm not even kidding. He's like a huge kid, with about the mental capacity of a five year old. On my test, he marked me off on something that was totally correct. I even found it in the book. And the other day in the lab, he told the class to "SHUT UP". As a teacher, you do not say that. How are you going to show respect and set an example and earn respect from a class if you're telling them to shut up? You can't. Then he pulled a tube out of boiling water and across a student's arm to put it into the test tube rack. I'm like, "what the heck? That's dangerous!" I was not a happy camper. This guy isn't even our teacher, just a substitue for Mrs. Carr who is on maternity leave. Maybe I'm just bitter because I have a B+ in that class. Oh well.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Thursday, September 11, 2008 around 4:45 p.m.

First of all, happy birthday Peach Face. Second, congratulations to those who made it onto quiz bowl with me. Third, I have been thinking. Here are my thoughts.
Every friendship is different. But that is mostly because people are different. Let me describe some of the relationships around me.
Today, two of my friends got into a fight. They do this often. But as usual, by the end of the day, we could all tell they would be fine.
I have another friend who puts people around him who can make him laugh. He doesn't seem to make too many ties with many of these people, they're just around to have fun and for him to have fun.
I have another friend who annoys the heck out of people. But they put up with this person because they love him. Its odd. But amazing.
There's someone who has lots of friends, but none seem to be her BEST friend. Is it possible one doesn't need a best friend?
That bring me to an interesting thought, why do we have best friends? What do we charachterize as a best friend?
I think of someone to share my secrets with, to go to when I'm upset, but to have lots of fun with when I'm happy. Right now, that's Elizabeth. Also Makayala has been there for me a lot lately.
With Luke, lately we just seem to be having fun. When its conveinient. I'm used to wanting to be around him a lot. I'm not exactly sure why. But it seems like, as I strengthen my relationships with other people I need him less. I'll always be friends with him, I think, but I can stand to not talk to him for a while. He even annoys me a bit sometimes. Which is healthy, I believe. He's still the most fun person around me though. That's for sure. Even thought Zeeba is running a close second.
Smedley, as I call him to differentiate him from my other friend with the same first name, and I don't hang out that much. Or talk that much besides the random comment on a myspace page. But he and I have a connection. I'm always happy when I see him. He's just one of those people I adore for no apparent reason.
Makayla I never planned on letting into my life as much as I have. But she just keeps getting sucked into my personal bubble. I think not having any classes with her this year actually helps.
Zeeba, Elizabeth, Kathy, whatever. She's amazing. I love her. Best friends forever.
So now that you know a bit about my friendships, let me explain something else. If you care about a friendship, you have to be careful. You have to keep your mind in a place where it doesn't insult that friend. You never know what you may say out loud. You must get to know that person, observe how they react to their enviroment and learn how to work with that. This is the greatest advice I can give you. It will make a friendship last. Learn how to make them happy, learn what makes them tick. Learn their flaws, and work around them. Get to know their inner personality. Draw conclusions based on fact. You get to be a better friend this way.

I had a purpose for this blog, I know I did, but I don't think I fullfilled it.

My point at this point (teehee) is that friendshps are fragile. You have to learn and mold to yours. Select people who compliment you, and never forget that people can infer things about you based on the company you keep.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Democratic National Convention

Last night, while I was asleep, the Democratic National Convention met and debated and discussed. Hilary released her deleagtes and turned her support over to Obama. I must say, out of the three (Hilary, Obama, and McCain) I was a Clinton supporter, even if she does believe in abortion and gay marriage, youjust have to believe that God will come through and out obstacles in the way of those things. Anyway, I am a bit dissapointed, I thought she would be more stubborn than that. I have a suspicion that Obama may have a supernatrual power over her, but I also believe that Hilary is not stupid. This is not the last of Hilary Rodham Clinton, she will be back. And I think.. That just may be a good thing.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Friday, August 15, 2008, around 9:00 p.m.

I remember being eight years old and seeing girls at Wal-Mart or church and thinking "I want to look like them when I grow up." It went beyond that, of course. I also wanted to sound as smart as them when I talked, or walk the same way. (I don't think that a lot of high schoolers realize how much they impact elementary school kids by simply being.) Now, I have come to realize, I am one of them. It's an amazing revelation. I have, today and yesterday, spent the first two days of the the four years that I will be in that high school. And with that comes a sense of pride and realization.
Okay, switching gears, back to that memory from when I was eight. Only now I'm twelve. (Confusing, I know.) I watched movies and TV shows, I read books that made high school sound like a HUGE deal. In shows like Degrassi, (and several other peices of media that I can't quite recall the names of) there were always different crisises. And that makes me realize.. some point in hgih school.. I will face some kind of major dilema. Whether it's personal.. or at home.. or at school with friends or a boyfriend. It's scary. But at the same time it's comforting to know that in no way is high school the end of the world. That's what the TV shows, books, and movies don't teach you. There is life afterwards, for most. (God, bless those who jhave had the misfortune to deal with school shootings) And it is also comforting to know me, and know that I will survive (cue theme music, *dances*). As long as I keep my eyes on the goal, remeber my friends, and stay true to my Jesus I will survive.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Sunday, August 3, 2008, around 10:30 p.m.

It has been awhile since I've blogged. Well, two or three weeks and I had only posted two before that. But still. I have big news. In that short amount of time, I went to fifth grade camp as a counselor, I got a new computer, went to Warped Tour, turned fifteen, went to a Breaking Dawn release party, and I'm getting ready to go to a four to five day trip to northern Indiana with Elizabeth. Everything was so fun. I will list one or two of the best things from each event.
  • Camp-launching water baloons with and without the kids, eating Taco Bell after midnight, (okay, a third) playing extreme spoons.
  • new computer- (I know, it IS sad that this is a major event in my life) I now have Vista. which, by the way, isn't as crappy so far as everyone says it is.
  • Warped Tour- seeing We The Kings live. They are some fo the best performers I have ever had the oppourtunity to see. And their songs are amazing. My friend and I split up from the rest of the group to see them spcifically and it was by far the best experience of the day. I'm totally buying their album.
  • my birthday- spending the day with two of my best friends, Luke and Elizabeth and then getting presents.
  • Breaking Dawn release party- haha. It was definitely hiding from the rest of the group with Chelsea.

So that's what I have been up to. Check me out later.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Thrsday, July 17, 2008, around 1:45 a.m.

I can already tell that I'm going to enjoy blogging.
It's way early in the morning, and I'm hoping that the clacking of the keys won't wake up my parents or brother. I also have a sister, more on her later, but she's away at camp this week. I think sometimes about the meaning of life. This subject reminds me of that old Disney Channel cartoon I used to watch sometime. There was a small naked mole rat names Rufus that belonged to Kim Possible's best friend, Ron. [This show was disappointing because towards the end she ended up with her best friend as her love interest. Why can't girls an guys stay friends, no love or sex involved?] Anyway, Rufus was once asked by a giant naked mole rat what the meaning of life was. Rufus replied "Cheese!". I think this is funny. How many people out there think that the only reason we are alive is to bask in the pleasures of the world? How many think that we, as humans, are freaks of nature, have no purpose or "meaning to life" and should go through doing whatever feels good? I, for one, am not one of those people. I believe everyone has been put here by our maker to serve a purpose, whether we believe so or not. Maybe you completely ignore that purpose and go and party all night long, but I think that God still uses you in some way. Maybe to influence another person, maybe to set into action events that are somehow glorifying to Him. As for those who constantly pray and seek his direction, we are used in a larger way. That is the meaning of life. To glorify God and fulfill the purpose that we have been put on this Earth for.
For some reason this reminds me of predestination. I have a friend who disagrees with her husband about this, I've been told to the point where they are both so set in there ways that neither can approach the subject with the other. Predestination, according to m-w.com, is : the doctrine that God in consequence of his foreknowledge of all events infallibly guides those who are destined for salvation. Or in more simple choices of words, the idea that God chose a long time ago who will go to heaven. That we never have to worry about living our lives according to his word, we'll go to heaven or hell regardless. That works out well for say, atheists, but not well for Christians. I personally can see how this would make sense because God knows all. However, this is the way I look at it. God gives us the Bible as an instruction manual for life. We are to follow it, because it is how He talks to us. If we do well in his eyes, accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior and ask forgiveness for our sins, we will go into heaven. We have been given free will, we make the choice about where our soul goes after our physical deaths. But hang in there, this is where the "God knows all" concept [well, it isn't really a concept, but you get what I mean] comes in. He already knows the choices we will make, and where we end up staying for all of our eternity. He knows, and has prepared our place in heaven [help me out, I can't think of what verse that is]. All we have to do is make the choice. Give ourselves completely over to him [which, admittedly, isn't something that I have totally accomplished yet] and suffer for fifty, sixty, seventy years; or take the risk and do what we want, basking in the pleasures of the world, and go to Hell for eternity? I'm not condemning anyone. Just.. think about it.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008. around 8:30 p.m.

Well, I found this site through a guy I know. I haven't ever really blogged, except the stupid MySpace stuff that no one really does anything with. So currently, I'm hoping that my mom will actually take me to Warped Tour with Elizabeth and Callie, like she said. She hasn't ever actually said she'd do something and not go through with it, but there's a first for everything. This is a bit bigger. I'm really excited about seeing Relient K, The Academy Is.., Cobra Starship [!!!], Danger Radio, and several others I can't even think of. They're coming to my area the day before my birthday. So there's that on the 31, on the first of August I will have my birthday and at ten that night I get to go to the local Barnes and Noble with Elizabeth, and hopefully Luke if he ever calls me back, to experience the release party for Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer. It's the fourth book to the Twilight series. What's great about this book series is that it's excellent writing, one of the main conflicts is about whether vampires have souls or not and whether or not they are accepted by God. Also, I'm a romantic, and it's a wonderful, clean story about a vampire falling in love with the human whose blood calls out to him the strongest. That poor guy! The vampire's name is Edward Cullen, but there is also another boy vying for Bella's love, Jacob Black. He's a werewolf. I'm on Team Edward, I think that the two are meant to be together. If they're not, Stephanie and I are going to "chat". I can't wait for August 2. I made the mistake of reading a bit about what this book will be about, and I had to stop because I was about to pull my hair out. It was sad. So I'm starting high school next year, and I don't know what to think. Everyone says I'll be fine, and I usually agree, but I do get the occasional doubt. I'm just afraid that I won't make good decisions. But I think, as long as I stay true to my Faith and keep my God in my heart, I'll do fine. What I need though is for my friends and family to keep me accountable. I just don't exactly know how to get them to do that. I'm also trying to reach out to a friend of mine, who doesn't believe in God. I told her recently that I felt like I hadn't been a good friend, that I didn't care about her soul enough. I told her I wanted to talk to her about God more. I've been praying for her heart to open up to HIS word, and she what she said in response to me was that she didn't care what I said to her as long as I didn't condemn her to hell. Then I told her that I won't because Jesus is about love and salvation, not condemnation. I've also been praying for another friend who is finding God again to know how to take the next step, whatever that may be for them. At CIY, the conference I went to with my church a few weeks ago, what hit me hardest was how important community and working together as the Body of Christ is. Also, I realized that my approach to ministering was completely wrong. We need more people for Christ. More people to be able to hold each other accountable, more people to get more people, more people to congregate with on that glorious day in heaven. And while it's great to say "he died for us, he died for us" it's all about the RESURRECTION! The gods of other religions died too. I'm not going into that too much so that I don't offend anyone with my lack of knowledge, but what is important is that while he died, just like all of the other "gods", he rose again. He is coming back for us one day. John 14:6, "I am the way, the truth, and the light. No one comes to the father except through me." I'm done ranting about that for now, but there is more where that came from. Well, I'll update later. Bye!